How come I love you so much?

How come I love you so much,

Why I have to love you

Why I like you

Why I miss you

Why I am strayed for you

Why I deeply want you

Why you


You...

So Empty

I was writing this blog on the beginning of the last day in 2007. I don't know, I just feel so empty. I don't even think that 2008 would be a better year than 2007. We are amidst of the doubt. Though, maybe it sounds pesimistic but anyway that's what I am feeling now.

Home,
School, I mean University,
Social Relationship,
Harmony,
Disintegration,
Love,
Hatred,

Remains same. Nothing's gonna change if the people remain constant. I just keep thinking to make stipulated constant change through myself. But anyway who am I? Just a tiny little small existence.

3 Days Before Year 2008

Aku ingin dipeluk

Don't know

I feel so sad....
I just want to sleep

I want to close my eyes

I want to forget everything

"我不转弯" ("I won't turn around")

......................................................................................!!!?

My pride in the destruction
我骄傲的破坏,

the normalness which i detest,
我痛恨的平凡

Only now do i realise that those are what i love most,
才想起那些是我最爱

Let the full summer have its joy,
让盛夏去贪玩

Throw the cruel reality of the future lightyears away,
把残酷的未来 狂放到光年外

And now,
而现在

throw all the rules out the window,
放弃规则

love with all your heart,
放纵去爱

let go of urself,
放肆自己

leave the future blank,
放空未来

I won't bend, I won't bend, etc...
我不转弯 我不转弯 我不转弯 我不转弯

Let the usual pattern become simpler,
让定律更简单

Let order become chaos,
让秩序更混乱

This is the youth i like,
这样的青春我才喜欢

Let the full summer have its joy,
让盛夏去贪玩

Throw away the cruel reality of the future lightyears awayAnd now,..
把残酷的未来 狂放到光年外 而现在



放弃规则 放纵去爱 放肆自己 放空未来
Give the rules. Love with all your heart. Let go of yourself. Leave the future with endless possibilities.

我不转弯 我不转弯 我不转弯 我不转弯
I won't bend. I won't bend. I won't bend....

我要 我疯 我要 我爱 就是 我要 我疯 我要 我爱
I wanna be crazy..I wanna love...

现在 一万首的mp3 一万次疯狂的爱 灭不了一个渺小的孤单
Now, ten thousand mp3 ten thousand love cannot erase the small feeling of loneliness...

我要 我疯 我要 我爱 就是 我要 我疯 我要 我爱
I wanna crazy wanna love...

现在 盛夏的一场狂欢 来到了光年之外 长大难道是人必经的溃烂
Now, the unforgettable summer of craziness...we've come to light yrs away. Is growing up an inevitable part of life?

放弃规则 放纵去爱 放肆自己 放空未来 我不转弯 我不转弯 我不转弯 我不转弯Give the rules. Love with all your heart. Let go of yourself. Leave the future with endless possibilities.I won't bend. I won't bend. I won't bend....

Wow Singapore Model of United Nation

First time I heard the name, I laughed. "What the hell is that?", I asked to myself. Such a weird thing. You pretend to be UN. For me It's just like a kindergarden child that playing a UN model. But on this day, I realized the truth of the "Funny Things" that I laughed on it before.

Before talking about Singapore Model of United Nation, it's better to introduce the Model of United Nation itself. Roughly, Model of United Nation ( or usually abreviated to MUN) is Model of United Nation Conference which is conducted by the University student. The purpose of this activity is promoting the UN and also introducing the procedure's that usually done by the UN to solve such as political, social, and economic problem.

The Model of United Nation is not only "a simulation" of UN Conference but also included a competition. The competition is quite similar to Debating Competition but the difference is you bring a case and protect your own country in the conference. So you, as the representative of certain country, should prepare all of the case before the conference.

And now about Singapore Model of United Nation. Singapore Model of United Nation is a competition of United Nation Model which is organized by NUS Model of United Nation. The competition is included all the things that I have mentioned before. This is the international competition for the University Student but also involving students from JC and Secondary School. The purpose of this competition is not only a competition but also want to introduce the concept of Model of United Nation to JC and Secondary Student.

Overall, After hearing the presentation and joining the committee for the SMU, I'm quite interested to join the NUS Model of United Nation. Maybe if I can manage my career well there, I can be representative in MUN international competition and facing the Harvard and Cambridge student. Hohohohohoho

We’re All In The Dance / Singer: Feist（English Theme Song from Paris, Je T'aime）

It's about life, it's about love, it's about goodbye. Cheer up everyone... we are still in the dance

Life’s a dance we all have to do What does the music require? People are moving together Close as the flames in a fire

Feel the beat Music and rhyme
While there is time
We all go round and round
Partners are lost and found
Looking for one more chance
All I know is
We’re all in the dance

Night and day
The music plays on
We all are part of the show
While we can hold on to someone
We know life won’t let us go

Feel the beat
Music and rhyme
While there is time
We all go round and round
Partners are lost and found
Looking for one more chance
All I know isWe’re all in the dance
We’re all in the dance

My World Has Turned Upside Down

No, no it isn't about that picture. Maybe some of you could notice where is the picture taken. But anyway, I don't want to talk about the picture or the description about the picture. What I want to talk about is about what I feel recently, is represented by that picture.

I don't know, since I arrived here. I feel everything has to be started by beginning. I have to return everything to the "zero-default-condition". This mean, I feel I have to eliminate everything inside my mind, my heart, and my ego, and I have to set up everything once again. That's why I wrote this contemplation. A contemplation about" whyness"?


It's not typical of me who is very unmelancholic and ignorant. But I realize, after experiencing several events When people try to be ignorant and unmelancholic, It means that those people try to overcome their own problem of feeling with forgetting about it.

But, in the end, I've found that, those kind of behaviour really not help you to overcome your own problem.Sometimes, we should feel the pain of our own problem. We should aware that somehow there is an enjoyment of feeling lonely or feeling sad. That's the thing that I have to rethink once again.

Well, I know, everybody wants to be happy, including me. But when I found such that "invention" I try to think once again, "What is happiness?","What is sadness?","What is emptiness?". Even until now, we still can't define or realize what are the definitions of that three statements.

If you define happiness as an enjoyment. That enjoyment in sadness means happiness? And that's a contradiction. Since sadness is antithesis of happiness. And if sadness is defined as something brind disturbance to our life, another contradiction rises, because you feel enjoyment of that disturbance.

For me, studying in this small country, makes me notice that. There are such uncertain things that we still understand uncertainly. Even we try to understand certainly of those things, we got another uncertain understanding about it.

That's why, I call this blog "My World Has Turned Upside Down". Everything has changed and moved on. And I have to turn upside down also with her.

Well, luckily, I have fallen deeper and deeper in this contemplation. I just want to know about my heart and my feeling more. Try to realize that, mind is important but without heart and feeling, mind is nothing.

Abstract

Hi to all my dear friends,

After long considerating to move, I've decided to make a blog on this web.

For the blogspot's blog, I'll try to make big difference with my previous blog on friendster. In this blog, I will focus more in my personal subject. For example about my personal life, personal feeling, personal perception, personal thought, personal desire, and even my persona. And that's why, maybe in this blog you will see another style of my writing. (I'll struggle to avoid writing about technical things!!!)

"Also" enjoy my new blog!!!!

cheers
Pras